Narcissism: self-love: an exceptional interest in and admiration for yourself;
Yeah...that's me....oh yeah...that's definitely me. Especially the last part "Admiration for yourself." let me explain. I'm gonna level with you, and this will most likely be boring if you don't know me, but who am I kidding, if you don't know me you're not reading my blog :P So, narcissism, self-love. Let's wind the clocks back to...October 2008, FEE Round Robin, first one of the year. And I got second place, as Hayley would say I was pretty "stoked", and of course surprised. My miserable failures of the previous year were enough to trample any faith I had in my abilities. However, man's ego never gets all the way to REM sleep, much less deep sleep. So, here he is, me, ugly selfish, self-loving me patting myself on the back, at how you went 5-1 (and secretly beating myself up about the round with Micah, and how my ego got stomped on by having becka decide to watch that round,[and the giggling helped!] I am always afraid of my friends watching me and them thinking I suck as a debater. [read: don't watch me, I'm too insecure.]) So, I was feeling pretty happy with myself, after all...I did beat both Hayley, and Nicole, both debaters who I see as exceptional.
So, a week after FEE is over, I'm starting to think "hey...you know I could be one of the better debaters in the region..." (laugh now, I did.) Of course, having a good RR does not a good debater make. Of course, all of this was totally stupid. But, my self-love, and self-admiration wanted to think I was a good debater.
Haha, the last round robin on Friday gave me a dose of realty that I absolutely needed. And after this RR today, I think God's been helping me to love myself a little less, but let me tell you my narcissistic giant is far from slumbering, and needs to be continuously put down. (so from time to time, randomly criticize me :P) So, the post was basically to make sure I put myself down (in a good way) so I don't think to much about myself.