Should I write what has already run through my head this evening? Or should I write what comes to me now. There's a cheap ring on the table next to me, I don't know who it belongs to. But it's too small for my ring finger and too big for my pinkie. I should go to bed. I have a physical tomorrow. All I want to do is sit here and run my fingers through my hair (which is growing quite long) and feel sorry of myself. To soak in all of me, all I've thought and done and consider it fully. I spent nearly twenty minutes trying to find The Great Gatsby. Katie eventually asked me "why do you need to find it so desperately?" I didn't have an answer. I don't. I can't sleep yet. Should I distract myself with something?
Music is playing in the background, I can't hear the two clocks ticking anymore. I can hear my fingers typing. It's ironic and self fulling, hu? I can only hear my fingers typing because I am typing about how I can hear myself typing. I know I'm emotional, but I am showing none of my usual symptoms. In fact, I'm showing all my symptoms of being in one of my "Mechanical" moods. I've been planning out my movements for the next few minutes. I don't have anything planned right now. Though I was considering looking up the lyrics too "last nite" by the strokes. I kind of have to now that I've written that don't I? To make sure there's nothing bad in them so I won't have to delete that sentence.
I lost a hundred dollars today. Not entirely. I lost it days ago, but I hadn't realized it until this morning. It's very important. It hung over me all day today, along with going to the registry and finishing my letter to Micah. The last one hasn't been done yet. I found the money. That was a huge weight of my shoulders. As soon as it was found I felt so relieved, and for a moment or two I forgot why. I had to remind myself.
I talked to Jacob for a few seconds, and then I said "brb" and never came back.
I want to read The Great Gatsby. Or do I just want something to do to make this sleeplessness a little more justifiable?
I cannot wait for the three day novel. I need to buy a power inverter so that I can write in the car on the drive home from the New Jersey CFC. There is no way that that novel will be finished in time.
I just squeezed a Mosquito in my left palm a moment ago, and I had to wash my hands to get some of it off of my hand. Was that wrong? Is it wrong to kill a Mosquito?
I think that I like The Strokes. Peter gave me some of their music. Maybe I like them more because I am tired. I should end this blog post.